making it up (dairu/+16)

he honestly was not in need of this particular job of extra waiter for yet another fancy party where he would just need to smile and offer champagne and food without even a glance in his direction. his job at the alestra was more than enough, and he sometimes still rolled his eyes at reyn for the crazy paycheck he was getting. he was, of course, not complaining. the hours were better than at the burger 3/4, the tasks more interesting, and he had more time to spend with mochi and haru than before — and more money to spend and spoil the little guy, too. he should probably stop doing that too, but it was a whole new concept for him to be able to say yes easily to whatever sweets and toys he wanted. he had never been quite reasonable, anyway. he was bound to be, however, because he could reasonably transforme mochi into a spoiled brat. he was pretty sure his sister would find a way to come back a ghost to haunt him if he dared ruin her little boy like that. so, he was trying to keep it on the down side, even if it was pretty hard for him. instead, he had indulged himself into some personal purchases, and two new tattoos among the ones already present on his arms — and maybe one of them was a lemon pie. said tattoos that were currently covered by the pristine white shirt and the black vest his night-only boss has given him to blend in with the other waiters and waitresses. daisuke was actually doing him a favor, after one of them had called sick just a few hours before the event. to be fair, this employer was kinda nice, and paying good, and dai was a nice person, so he had accepted. also, yes, the fact that he knew it was a party that haru was attending did help to bring him around. so after bidding goodbye to emi — tonight’s baby-sitter — he headed towards the luxuous hotel he would never set foot in, if it was not for this job. he did not even set foot in nawa this much, considering. he was very out of place here, and his walk through the neighborhoods did cost him some disgusted looks and pretty uptight faces, seeing his brightly coloured, vintage (not to say old) and mismatched outfit, and his bright blue hair of the day. honestly, daisuke could not care less.

anyway, he was now wonderfully blending among the sea of waiters inside the reception hall, new but basic suit on and hair tamed to a light brown — he had tried to ignore his boss’ pointed look, just for fun, but had of course obeyed to the silent command. slipping through the guests with the ease and habit of someone that had done this several times, he was more busy searching inside the crowd of guests for a certain silhouette than anything else. when he spotted it, finally, a smile appeared on his face, and he made his way to him, a platter where were laying a few champagne glasses in one hand. even if he had seen him this lunch, he was missing him. he missed him every minute he was not with him. he vaguely checked that they were no relatives with him, still unsure of how this whole was working and honestly not willing to encounter his parents tonight — even if, they would most probably never recognize nor remember him. trying to keep his very happy face in check and remain somewhat professional, he approached haru and the few people he was currently busy with. his mouth opened to underline his presence to him — he probably already knew anyway, considering it was of course his perfume he was wearing — when one of the ladies beat him to it. “ah, champagne, perfect ! we should cheer to your birthday, hatsuharu-san !” what ? daisuke forgot all pretense as he literally gaped, guests taking the glasses without even noticing his choc, and growing panic. holy fucking shit, this got to be a joke. did i fucking forget about my damn boyfriend’s birthday ? he was the worst person ever. he knew he was scatterbrained and that was why he had alerts on his phone every day before mochi’s birthday but come on. he was certain that haru’s was in a few days. merlin, he did not wish happy birthday and they had lunch together. he did not have a gift. how bad was that ? his mind reeled, and he spoke before thinking. “kyôdo-san ? sorry to interrupt, but i believe someone is requesting your presence urgently. shall i lead you to them ?” please say yes and let me apologize to you right now away from prying eyes.

Life has been nothing but good to Hatsuharu those past few weeks. Even going back to school to attend to classes he did not like did nothing to harm the content calm he bathes in. Since that dreamy night – even if the setup was not really what he pictured – everything just went his way. And even if some bumps may appear on the road, the memory of Daisuke walking him to the dorm and kissing him before he left was more than enough to overcome any contrariety coming his way. They have seen each other a lot, since then, but they did not really have had a moment of privacy, to act on those words he whispered to him in that bathroom. All things in good time and the fairies over Haru’s cradle had graced him with patience – which he exerts everyday. It still does not mean that he is not craving for him, each time they meet. Their public encounters have been quite restrained, but in the warmth of his appartement, when they would get dinner ready for Mochi and their hips found, for a brief moment before being cut short by the little angel, there has been this spark making it certain they would want something, something more. And the Mizu already had a faint idea of how things could unravel, in the shape and form of an invite for a hotel inauguration, on a very special date. So he has kept it to himself, until he would unravel it, maybe at lunch. But when the lovers met, no birthday wish was uttered. And so the enveloppe stayed hidden in the young man’s pocket. There has been no disappointment – oh no, he never was of that type and never will be. But he couldn’t bring himself to mutter to him : I know what present would make me the happiest man on earth, and sliding the key to the room he has been offered – when Daisuke had forgotten about the date. Because he knows how embarrassed he would be. And it really does not matter ; every day he spends knowing he was his was more than enough to have him satisfied beyond words. So he did not say a thing. So their moment passed, and the night came.

He did not text him because he would have to hide that he was going with some friends for his birthday – because he did not want him to bother with that. But he still wanted to, in a room where he was missing. But Haru smiles, jokes, and mingles, impeccable in his suit – probably the most natural look for him. The party is not too loud, the kind of event where class dictates that voices are kept to a minimum. Thus it is a nice one to be in. The white stick has been stored away, and there he is, enjoying the evening, when he smells him. Amongst all those heavy perfumed person, he can recognize his signature smell. And not just because he was the one to create it, no. A smile passes on his lips. Him being there was none of this making this time, but he is glad for the coincidence. But it would seem as if he is not the only one to have spotted him : “ah, champagne, perfect ! we should cheer to your birthday, hatsuharu-san !” That dims a bit his smile. Oh. But he does not let it show, as someone slips a glass between his fingers. What would he give to be able to cast him a it’s ok look. Because even if he isn’t close, he can still picture what his lover’s reaction would be. “there is no need, really,” he offers to the girl, but mostly to the waiter, indirectly. And he is looking for a way to make an even bigger point when the other man beats him to it. “kyôdo-san ? sorry to interrupt, but i believe someone is requesting your presence urgently. shall i lead you to them ?” “Thank you I will come with you this instant.”The clever move makes him glow, which he explains for the rest of the party : “That must be my cousin’s making, she always comes up with the most grandiose ideas on those days. Please enjoy the party.” And what best excuse to find the arm of Daisuke to have him take him away. He does not speak immediately, more than aware of the attentions he can be graced with, especially on this day. And indeed, people are greeting him on the way. They stop from time to time and he excuses himself until the noises of the reception room fade. He does not know where he is being led but it does not matter. His instinct whispers that they are alone, in a corridor. So he starts before his significant other can even open his mouth : “Before you say anything, Daisuke, this does not matter.” He does not want him to apologize or to beat himself up. Gently, he pulls on the arm he has not been letting go off since he took it, to force him to face him. “I am simply glad I get to spend some time with you tonight.” And he means every word. And he knows that it shows.

how much more of a fucking idiot can he be ? he wants to facepalm himself with the platter in his hands. this is ridiculous. what type of terrible person forget about their lover’s birthday ? it’s something haru would never, ever do. and maybe if it wasn’t the case, maybe if he was with someone as silly as him, he would not take this so much at heart. but he does. he does because haru would have remembered — he always remembers everything — and he loves him so much and he wants to give him the best he can. he knows he is not the best haru could have in life, and he is still confused as to why the kyôdo wants him and no one else, but he is grateful for it and he does intend to live up to it. to do his best. and that does not include forgetting his birthday. this should have been great. this should have been important. he should have make sure to have him sleep over at his place the night before, and then kindly shoo mochi away to his neighbor’s flat so in the morning they would have been alone. and so he would have woken him up with kisses and caresses and then he would have loved him again and again. he would have ordered something and they would have eaten tangled into each other and then, then he would have give him an actual gift and probably sunk on his knees for another one. it should have been perfect. everything but this. but him forgetting and being reminded by a complete stranger to him, right in front of his man. what a fucking idiot.

he is glad that haru follows him into his lie without batting an eyelash. and as his arm sneaks around his, he searches mentally for a quiet place. he wins some time by haru being stopped here and there by guests that, of course, wish him a happy birthday and daisuke wants to scowl at them, say yes i know i fucking forgot no need to rub it in my face. but of course he keeps quiet and awaits politely, mind swirling and still insulting himself for being the worst boyfriend ever and the biggest idiot. and, also, a part of him panics because there is no gift. he can’t pretend. he can’t be all smile and say haha surprise, you thought i forgot right ? because he did forget and it was not at a fancy party that he could suddenly find the perfect gift out of nowhere. finally, he is able to drag them away from the crowd, and his feet settle down when they reach an empty corridor. he turns to him to apologize, but haru’s faster. “before you say anything, daisuke, this does not matter.” doesn’t matter ? his mouth is already opened to protest and underline how not okay this is, but once again, the other is speaking. “i am simply glad i get to spend some time with you tonight.” he knows he means it. he knows it enough for that. but it is not enough for dai. this is not what matters. his hands come to grab at his. “do not say it does not matter, because it does. i swear haru if you forgot my birthday i would be so mad at you. you’d have to apologize to me every fucking day for a full month.” because he is a child like that sometimes, and he is not to ashamed to state it. but the heat in his words disappear. his shoulders slump a bit. “but of course that would never happen.” never would haru be as stupid as him. “i’m sorry, haru, i truly am.” a hand come to find his cheek, and he strokes it slightly. “you’re dating an idiot that can’t remember a few important dates. i’m sorry. you deserve better.” he deserves everything he can give him and more. he deserves the world. “and i feel terrible because i don’t have a birthday gift and we had lunch and you must have waited for me to say it and i didn’t and… i’m sorry.” he sighs, deeply, eyes he can’t see full of regrets. but daisuke is never one to pity himself. and so his eyes harden a bit more and shine bright. his second hand comes to grab his lover’s other cheek, holding his face gently. “but i’ll make it up to you, i promise. i… i don’t know how but i will.” there is determination in his voice, making his mind run wild. for him to find something.  

It would not go that easily, that much is pretty cleat for Hatsuharu. And even though his outside remain calm, this slight smile on his face meant to reassure his lover - there is a bit of sadness that lingers inside. This is not caused by the fact he forgot about his birthday, of course not, but because he hates knowing he blames himself when there is absolutely no need for that. This is not important to him, when Daisuke graces him everyday with his words, his presence, his love. Asking for more would be insanely greedy, which he is not. “do not say it does not matter, because it does. i swear haru if you forgot my birthday i would be so mad at you. you’d have to apologize to me every fucking day for a full month.” The idea makes him chuckle slightly, his fingers hiding the tender smirk brought by the images that form in his mind. Of course he would, because he is like that, because he craves for attention, for affection that Haru gives him without even thinking about it - that doubles when he remembers how much the young man need to be cuddled. And he gladly obliges, with notes on the fridge - the spell turning his braille into words being a true blessing, texts during the days, small deliveries of pastries, of food he mentioned whenever he could not join him for dinner. “but of course that would never happen.” And he does not lie so he does not answer that it is wrong, that it could happen to him as well. His mind is made this way and no, there is no way in the world he would forget about this very important date - that saw this incredible person come to life years ago. But he notes to tone down any plan he might have already be conceiving, not to embarrass him further. There would be no point in that.
“i’m sorry, haru, i truly am.” “i know you are and as i said, he does not matter.” The brush on his cheek is enough, having him right here with him is enough. “you’re dating an idiot that can’t remember a few important dates. i’m sorry. you deserve better.” Hearing him saying they are dating is enough. But part of what he says makes his entrails twitch. He will address it in a few moments, Daisuke wants to finish and he shall not interrupt him furthermore. “and i feel terrible because i don’t have a birthday gift and we had lunch and you must have waited for me to say it and i didn’t and… i’m sorry.” His sigh can almost be perceived on his face, even if for now he is too far away for it to be more than a perception. Then he gets closer, and he can feel both his palms on him. “but i’ll make it up to you, i promise. i… i don’t know how but i will.” With that he kisses him, gently. His arms go around his waist, being careful of not dropping the champagne glass he still hold. The sensation of his body pressing against his frame is always a blessing, as the caress of his hair on the forehead his. He does not care of being seen, not now, not when the priority is to console his paramore. They are the only ones who truly are important so when he lets go of his lips, he mutters : “then make me a promise: never ever will you say or think again that ‘i deserve better’.” Even if the tone is gentle, the words are serious and meant with all the strength in his heart. “i love you, and only you, whether you forget about my birthday everyday for the rest of our lives or not.” What he says is intense, but he feels it so deeply he does not even second-guess it. “there is truly nothing to make up for. But i do have a birthday wish you could help make come true.” His free hand slides against Dai’s body until he finds his own, and his fingers undo the buttons of his jacket. A move that could be mistaken for something else entirely but then they go to the inner pocket hidden and get something out. The way back is the same, until he reaches the pants of his boyfriend and puts the something into one of his pockets. “they offered me a night in one of their renovated suites.” As a birthday present is not mouthed, but it might be clear that not all guests were so gracefully given gifts. “maybe if mochi’s sitter does not mind staying at your place for the night you could help me appreciate it fully after your shift.” And his hand resting over the card presses, just a bit. He has not forgotten the episode in this bathroom. Nor have the brief heated moments they were able to share since then disappeared from his mind. “you would be a perfect birthday present. there is nothing else in the world i desire nor need more.”

he sighs against his lips, body pliant against his. he knows haru is not angry at him, or resent him for his forgetfulness. he knows that, he knows him enough to read it in his eyes and his face and his smile — and he told him so. mostly, daisuke is angry at himself. he feels like he proves once more he is so far haru’s level it feels ridiculous for him to even hope to be with him. and yet, yet he is kissing him willingly, and holding him, and he told him he loved him multiples times already so, seems like fate disagrees with him. or, more precisely, haru disagrees with him. but then his boyfriend is not a stuck-up ass either so, he does not except him to have an ego bigger than most person — daisuke think he should, because he is perfect, but then he would be less perfect with an outrageous ego. he finds air again, and his eyes find his, his hands never leaving his face, simply sliding a bit more to hold on to his hair partly. he realizes suddenly they are in a the middle of the corridor and anyone could see them, and that would be bad for haru right ? he’s almost getting away from him, when his voice cuts him off. “then make me a promise: never ever will you say or think again that ‘i deserve better’.” he gives him a small, embarrassed smile. he had just done it a few seconds ago. and he knows himself. “i’ll try,” is all he can really promise, because it is easier said than done. because despite daisuke never caring about anyone’s opinion on his behavior and just being who he is, when it comes to people it’s a bit different. he wants to be the best version of himself. and with haru, he is not sure even his best version will be enough. “i love you, and only you, whether you forget about my birthday everyday for the rest of our lives or not.” it never fails to make his heart flutter, to hear these words. and it helps greatly with the insecurities. he thinks he is not enough. but haru does, and he tells him, and he loves and kisses and holds him, and so maybe daisuke will finally accept it too. “i won’t forget about your birthday for the rest of our lives….well maybe one or two times more but i promise that’s it.” he adds it in a small laugh, his thumbs caressing the skin underneath them.

“there is truly nothing to make up for. but i do have a birthday wish you could help make come true.” “is there ?” his eyebrows raise, and even further when he sees his movement. and he gets an enveloppe. yes obviously dumbass you’re in the middle of corridor, were you expecting him to strip right here and there ? he’s not you, you know. the enveloppe is slipped into his own pocket. “they offered me a night in one of their renovated suites.” something sparks into daisuke’s gaze. is he…? “maybe if mochi’s sitter does not mind staying at your place for the night you could help me appreciate it fully after your shift.” merlin he totally is. he bites on his lower lip at the simple thought, and the fingers in his hair tighten just a little bit. “you would be a perfect birthday present. there is nothing else in the world i desire nor need more.” and somehow the words are sweet, and daisuke can’t help but kiss him once more. there is tenderness. and then, as he thinks about it, as he thinks that the end of his shift seems so far away and that he does have something to make up for, it turns more passionate. he holds onto his hair a bit tighter, and his teeth find the other’s lower lip. there is a noise, a bit farther away. ah, yes, right, corridor. he lets go of his lips, breath still ghosting over them. “i think you should begin to enjoy your birthday present now,” his lips quirk up, and his hand comes to grab ahold of haru’s hand. and then he drags him towards the small door a few meters away, pushes him inside and close behind them. he does not need his eyes to get used to the sudden darkness to back haru back against the door, lips finding his, hands sprawled over his chest. the hands slide down as he presses against him, enough to get his shirt out of his pants, slipping his fingers over the skin of his stomach. he half laugh against his mouth. “doesn’t that remind you of something ?” he bites his lip again, gently, lets it go. “mmmh, maybe i should help your memory,” there is only mischief in his eyes, in his voice, as he opens his trousers without an inch of doubt, sliding a hand inside them. “is that better my love ?” murmur against his ear, lips soon coming to his neck. he knows he has to go back, so he doesn’t bite down, satisfies himself with loving caresses as he works his hand for a time. “this time let me do as i want,” and his knees find the hard floor, and his mouth finds the skin of his lower stomach in a very clear suggestion. “please haru tell me yes,” because really, that is all he is waiting for.  

It seems to be so easy most of the time to find the balance they now need. Because somehow their relationship did not really change. They would see each other as often as they used to, he would think about him as much as he previously did. So sometimes Haru forgets it is actually a new page of their story they are writing together and thus there are adjustments to be made, there are things to be said, habits to take. And even if he doesn’t mind it the slightest, delighted by the simple mundane things they have to discuss, some flaws he discovers are a bit saddening, as his need to reassure him of the fact he is in love with him and he wants to be with him. But he obliges every time, every occasion to say those words, to envelop him with tenderness. And he will go on, until he is certain, until there it no doubt in his mind. “i’ll try,” And after that, he will still do it, every day until his last breath. And needless to say he cannot imagine himself uttering any other last words than ‘i love you, daisuke. forever.’ “i won’t forget about your birthday for the rest of our lives….well maybe one or two times more but i promise that’s it.” “That seems reasonable. Let us agree on three free passes and you just used one.” He is teasing him but his tender smile ensures him this is only a joke - that he does not really means it. Would he forget about it again, it would not be a problem. It would never be. The Kyôdo is not one to get angry - and especially not regarding such trivial matters. And not when there is still time for the both of them to enjoy this day, and to make it truly a special one. For mature and poised that he is, he is just a man, a young man eager to hold his boyfriend, and to show him just how much he loves him, in other ways he discovered so lately and he cannot wait to experience with him.

And a kiss answers his proposition - his lips against his echo like a ‘yes’ in his whole being. And if there was a hint of doubt at the beginning, as seconds pass, as their mouth find each other with more eagerness, there is no doubt that is what Daisuke mean. It is tough sometimes for Hatsuharu to be a hundred percent sure - having to rely on his instinct more than ever. But his hand pulling is hair is more than enough of an agreement, making his smile as they kiss, as he forgets about the world - this is so easy when he is against him for he is his whole universe. Teeth against the flesh surprise him, but do not make him recoil. Au contraire he is the one leaning in slightly, trying to get his lips back - deliberately ignoring the voice he cannot miss. But to no end. “i think you should begin to enjoy your birthday present now.” “Daisuke...” The well-mannered young man wants to object they cannot go to his room right now, he still has persons to talk to, and the boy needs to get back to his shift not to get fired. But his fingers dragging him along cut all the objections he may have - for they can spare a few minutes kissing him a bit more. A door creeks - that is not the elevator - and he is pushed in what sounds like a very small space, given the relatively small echo his steps make. Uncertain he waits for a few seconds to adapt, but has no time. Compliant, he lets his lover take over. His back finds wood - the door - and mouth and hands find him. His caress his back over his shirt, pulling him in to delight on his lips. And it makes him smile, thinking they are making out in a...cupboard of some kind, like horny teenagers. Smile that turns into something warmer when fabric is pulled out of his pants and he can feel his touch on his stomach. “doesn’t that remind you of something ?” Yes it does, even though his consumption of alcohol was way over his limit that night, every feeling is engraved in this memory. “mmmh, maybe i should help your memory,” “There is absolutely no need Daisuk...” His first name dies on his tongue that need to be bitten as his pants are opened and as he holds onto him once again. “is that better my love?” His breath on his ear, his mouth on his neck, as many sensation that, combined with the magic his hand is working, making his core pulse under his paramore’s fingers. “this time let me do as i want.” He realizes he held on tight to his shirt when he loses his grip. And the voice suddenly comes from lower. “please haru tell me yes.” There is something twitching inside of him, as his body reacts, as there is no denying he wants this. But this was not how he pictured it. He was supposed to wait for him upstairs, on that bed, to undress him slowly, to learnt every line of his body from the tip of his fingers, kiss every anfractuosity, taste him properly before thinking of anything else. But right there, in this space he does not control, he knows. He knows this will happen, later on. They have their lives waiting for them for everything they want to do - isn’t it just plain old-fashioned, to want a perfect first time? A new brush have him sigh, lips parting to find some air. “yes.” This is short, for him. But his heart is already pounding too fast. His hands find him. One is grazing his cheek, fingers holding on to his hair. The other one rests in his neck. To feel his blood pulsating. “do what you want, my love.” Words seem to get caught in this throat, voice even deeper than usual. He lets go. Let him take over. Because he loves and trusts him this much.

he is not a reasonable man daisuke. never has been, never will. it makes haru a good match for him in a sense, for he is capable to handle him and calm the fire that always roars in his very soul, this need to always run around and do whatever he wants whenever he wants to. if he did not have mochi, he had no idea where he would be right now. he could have say fuck off to everything and go live in the wild for a whole year. sometimes he feels like he has no limits, and it’s good that his loved ones give him some, else he might lose himself in the storm that could be his life. but this time, as he takes haru’s hand and follow his instinct, he won’t let the other man calm him down. he wants quite the opposite in fact. the fire in him ignites, becomes more heated, and he does his very best to communicate it to him. he wants to hear him, touch him, feel him lose his perfect outlook just for him. the moment in that bathroom had been too good and yet so short and frustrating in a lots of ways. he had been craving to find it again since then, but life had always been against them, one thing or the other always showing up to force the passion to be put on hold — most of the time, this thing happened to be a little human being that had the worst timing ever (daisuke couldn’t blame him, that probably came from him.) this time, he was at least getting a little bit of it. he was being greedy and impatient, considering the enveloppe now resting in his back pocket and the promise that came with it, but he could not help it. he wanted him now — and to make up for forgetting what day this was. it was probably not haru’s way of doing things, because on that too they were much different, but daisuke did not mind bringing him out of his comfort zone. and honestly, if he could resist his hand on him, and then himself sliding on his knees for him and making it very clear that something even better was coming… well, daisuke was stubborn but he would admit himself beaten.

“yes.” except it’s really not what happens. his smile grows. “do what you want, my love.” and he does not need to be told twice. and if he thought hearing haru lose his words at his touch, hear the sighs and the suppressed moans against his lips was heavenly, he quickly changed his mind. he regrets the darkness for he can’t see him properly, but thinks that this will be overcome later in the night, so it’s fine. however, if he can’t see him, at least he wants to hear him. and fair enough, this is a cupboard, it would probably not be wise to be heard or found out there — daisuke would hate himself to damage haru’s reputation like that. and so, he lets go of him for an instant, one hand still on his hip as the other slides to grab his wand at the bottom of his pants. he murmurs two spells : one to lock the door, and another one that muffle out the noises. he slips the wand back in the holster. “soundproof,” he says to haru with a voice heavy with desire, looking up at him for a brief moment, before going back to his task with enthusiasm. he would love to draw it out, tease him enough to hear him beg, hear the melody of his voice and his breaths for as long as possible, bath in the feeling of his hand tugging his hair — humming with delight and pleasure when he does it a bit harder. unfortunately he does know he can’t keep him in here forever — and he will have all he want later, right ? so he does not tease too much — just a bit, taking his mouth away from him a short while, just enough to feel him bring him back — and simply makes sure that the other is feeling good. he makes himself breathless and glassy eyed, but it’s worth it when the other finally tips over the edge. he presses his palm against his own desire as he accompanies him through it, trying to relieve some of the tension that’s been building up in his body. it’s almost useless, but he does not really care, standing back up, hands busy rearranging haru’s clothes.

his forehead finds his, and he clears his throat. “fuck i can’t wait to make love to you.” his voice is still hoarse, he will try avoiding speaking to guests too much, it could become embarrassing if someone noticed it did not came from a cold. he laughs at the idea, laughs at the situation, at the happiness in his heart to be able to do something as stupid and yet so good with haru. “happy birthday baby,” he can’t see his smile but yet he does, hands coming back up as to hug his waist. the move makes him catch his breath, hips digging instinctually into haru’s hip. he laughs again. “i might have to wait a bit before going back there.” he does not even ask for anything, for this was not about him. not yet, anyway.  

Never has he ever done that before - because it requires a level of trust that is rarely reached. Because he who cannot see does not give himself so freely, so easily. Beyond the ability, it is just not who he is, the loving man, the traditional boy who makes a duty of making love to his partners properly, where he can give back what he gets. But this one time he lets things slip. He lets Daisuke take over because he loves him, because he seems to want this just as badly as he does and there is no point denying the both of them this pleasure. It feels selfish to accept, to abide but so good he does not blame himself for too long. Fortunately for once, his lover is the one thinking this through, his own mind already clouded by desire, by the tension that rose into him. Two spells later they are alone in the world. And it is scary somehow, for him to realize how little he actually cares about them being caught, in this corridor previously or now, in this room. He already made his mind to ask for rose petals to be put on the bed they are going to share, champagne and strawberries and lemon pie and cream and … “Daisuke...” Whisper cascading down his lips to reach his boyfriend’s ear as he is doing wonders. All his world is sensations, and does he grace him with a lot of them. The soft lips feel like velvet around him, every inch they move on his so delicate flesh sending million of bubbles right up. Each brush of his tongue, marvel of agility surprises him, make his muscle tense. He does not exist anymore in this moment. He is not Hatsuharu Kyôdo, he is a mere floating being, lost in another dimension with the one who transcends him, second after seconds. Moans echo in the room, as his fingers dig deeper in his hair, trying not to lose balance. He feels his eyes go up uncontrollably as he rises. On the verge of losing it, his hand pushes slightly on the neck of Daisuke, not to do this - but the boy seem to be of a totally different opinion. And thus he lets go, giving in completely in a final “Dai...”

Silence is sudden after hearing his own voice a bit too much - but it is the only way for him to express how it made him feel, apart from his body’s reaction, of course. It is his hands he feels, pulling his clothes over is being once again. The fabric does not feel quite right - but it is an inconvenience totally worth the gift he has been given. His palms come and push his boyfriend toward him, as a contact on his forehead distract him. His memory tries and put an image on the moment, to form what can linger on his traits - but cannot, for he never had a vision of how Daisuke would look with eyes full of lust. “fuck i can’t wait to make love to you.” “i will love you all night long,” he promises, aroused by the sound of his voice, so different than before, and by the certainty of what caused it. All those things that never occurred to him before now - before him. “happy birthday baby,” “thank you my love,” he answers in a single breath, “that was probably the most thoughtful gift I have ever been given.” Words are soft, but they also are playful, charged with this tension that did not quite flunder, especially not when in a push, he is been informed on how the feeling is shared. And part of him feels guilty not to give him what is needed right now - but that will come in time. “i might have to wait a bit before going back there.” His hands cascade along his back, stopping for one of them on the hip, when the other navigates around him, to slide between them, tenderly caressing the bump he can feel pushing through the fabric. “i must leave you then so you don’t lose a good job because of me.” His mouth finds his for a few seconds, before detaching from him and the door. His wand comes out of his jacket and from a flick of it, the way out is cleared. “i will be up in an hour maximum. don’t rush though. i will wait for you.”

And with that he is gone. With that he finds his way back to the party, where he is greeted by some guests who were worried not to see him. Apparently his looks did not give anything out so he laughs and confesses he got lost and found himself in what would be a cupboard for a couple of minutes before being rescued by the staff. Hilarity overcomes and he smiles politely, going back to the conversations he does not dislike, but that are not on his mind at the moment. At some point of the hour he is taken to the manager he gracefully congratulate on the party and on the thousand of compliments he heard from other guests - describing the surroundings in great details for his account. But as he said in an embarrassed tone, he actually lost the key to the suite they so gently provided him. Apologies cut by the man who offers to immediately replace it and asked if there was anything he would desire. And thus the list is given - and even if there is a bit of surprise in the tone at first, the help in those kind of places don’t ask for details nor would they speak. But he knows, Haru, how puzzled it could be for he never was one of those rich kids, to bring people to such places. The question flutters in the man’s voice - as if he was about to ask if there was any other service he would require but he does not, for the Kyôdo name does not suffer that kind of indiscretion. And a few minutes later, he excuses himself of the party, people knowing how tiring they can be for he who can only hear, all of those sounds being way to loud for his taste. The elevator takes him to the right floor in no time and the groom asks if he wants to be led to the door. Offer accepted, it only takes a few minutes before it is the case. He is shown around, being explained where everything is, and then he finds himself alone. Not being too adventurous, Hatsuharu finds his way to the bed, naked feet feeling the rose petals he asked for. He just has to follow the trail, carefully descend two steps before he gets there. And he falls softly onto the comfortable mattress after getting rid of his jacket. One button, two buttons of his shirt are undone and he rests here. For how long? He lost count. Until the slight click indicated that someone is entering. And he does not need to see him to be sure it is Daisuke. ”Did the end of your shift go alright?” He turns towards the sounds, hands digging in the sheets to straighten up, giving him time to take in the entire room. “how does it look like?” And he really, truly hope this is perfect - for his soulmate does not deserve anything less.

“i will love you all night long” the promise makes him shiver. he does not respond, but he does intend to do the same. he intends to do so much more, to love him for the rest of his life. and for him that has never truly committed himself without anyone, it does not sound so terrifying. maybe because he had feelings for him since so long they are a part of him now. the only thing that scares is for haru to get tired of him. yet he does not want to ridicule his feelings and diminish them in any way, so he does not speak about that, does not let himself think about it too much. he loves him now, there is no reason for it to stop as long as daisuke does his very best for him. and that is something he tries to do, always — and epically fail as of today for example, but at least he makes up for it. “that was probably the most thoughtful gift i have ever been given” he laughs, he can’t help it. form the happiness, form haru’s words, from his tone. “you’re the only guy i know that’d call a blowjob thoughtful. but i don’t mind, makes me look smart and shit.” and how much he loves him for everyone of these little details he knows about him. that he probably could planned if he was a bit less selfish. “i must leave you then so you don’t lose a good job because of me.” his breathes hitches in his throat because of his hand, and he tries his very best to not rut into him like an horny teenager — let’s face it, this is somehow what dai is and does not mind too much. he focuses on kissing him. and then he is pushed back and he lets him, fingers flexing so as to not grab him back. “i will be up in an hour maximum. don’t rush though. i will wait for you.” “i will definitely rush,” he informs him with a playful tone, and finally haru’s gone. he himself takes just a couple of minutes, clouding his mind with the least attractive things he can think of to calm down the heat in his pants. which is not that easy, considering the cupboard smells of haru and he cant still taste him on his tongue and the whole place reminds him of what they just did. right. bathroom. cold water will help.

honestly, for the rest of the night, he kinda does a shitty job. he is distracted. highly distracted, keeps searching for his boyfriend in the crowd, and his mind too easily fantasizes about the rest of the night. it’s the adult version of waiting for christmas morning’s gifts. spoiler alert : daisuke is shit at waiting. and for once, he is not late. it’s on the clock that he finishes his shift, hurrying to the lockers to change in his regular clothes — almost forgets to take the card in the back pocket, but thankfully doesn't. he hands back the suit, and probably thanks his boss way too quickly, bids a general goodbye to everyone and rushes towards the elevators. it’s when he steps out of them he remembers he needs to call emi and make sure she does not mind staying overnight. he curses to himself for neglecting his parental duties, and gets his phone, calling his friend. thankfully she indeed does not mind, and daisuke thanks her profusely, promises to give her the extra money the next morning — and to not come back too late. and once that is done, he finally searches for the right room number, his mind more at ease.

when he enters the room, he silently gasps at what lays in front of him. he should have expected it. it is so painfully haru to do such thing he should not even be surprised. yet he is, because daisuke never really expects people to go over the moon for him, and do things as cute and sensible as that. and, also, he does not really have a romantic heart, so it’s difficult for him to think of such things. “did the end of your shift go alright?” “yeah yeah,” he answers absentmindedly, still trying to take in the room. and when he kind of does, he turns his head towards haru, and his breath catches once more. he is used to seeing him of course, and he had already done so tonight, but seeing him right here on a bed with a half-opened shirt and knowing that he did all of this for the two of them…. he almost gets emotional at the thought. good thing he is not one to cry easily, else he would probably be a sobbing mess by now. “how does it look like?” he smiles. smiles and goes to him, hands coming to cup his face. “it’s fucking perfect. as you are.” he presses his lips to his, struggling to keep the smile in and kiss him properly. he also reels in the urge to push him back on the bed and get rid of clothes this instant as to have him as soon as possible. they have time. he is a very impatient person, but he will try not to be. and he knows haru is a romantic at heart and way more old-fashioned than him for some things. he does intend to respect that. yet he knows himself, and he does not want to ruin anything like he can so obliviously sometimes. “tell me what you want,” he murmurs against his lips, as his hands slide to the torso he can reach, grabbing at the remaining buttons. “tell me if i go too fast or if i’m too impatient or too harsh or… or i dunno, anything that’s not exactly what you want.” he slowly begins to unbutton his shirt, kind of goes against his own words — he has been in the room for not even five minutes and he is already trying to strip him. “it’s our night but… it’s your birthday.” and haru truly cares about such things as set ups and perfect moments, when daisuke would be fine with a quickie outside as long as it was haru he was with. and the thought flashes in his mind suddenly. he stops his movements. “wait you… have you done this before ?” because it would be a whole other thing if it was haru’s first time. and daisuke was actually kind of scared of that, because he did not trust himself enough to be the perfect person for that — he was going to get impatient, he knew it, and the idea of hurting haru terrified him.   

“yeah yeah.” When Haru lost his sight, more than a decade ago, he remained perfectly calm. Where his father threatened, where his mother cursed, he just sat still and explained that he was alive, and that is was all that should matter. Eight years old, giving up on one of his senses and accepting his fate without yelling. There were silent tears on some nights, but never did he rebel against his condition. Still there were moments in his life where he would trade everything, name, fortune, for a few minutes with functioning eyes. And Merlin would he have loved to watch him come in. To drown in his gaze for an instant, making him lose his breath. And to see him, to engrave his face in his memory, forever, every step of the way. And in this second, as Daisuke does not seem to be exactly with him, he wishes for it to happen. But it does not. And there is not even an ounce of disappointment. Because he comes to him. Because his scent envelops him in an instant. “it’s fucking perfect. as you are.” How could he be sad or bitter when the man he loves is with him, in an hotel room? When they are both healthy, safe and about to show each other how deep their feelings truly are? Maybe the room does not really matter in the end. Not to him. But he wanted for his boyfriend to feel as special as he is to him, to demonstrate, in every possible way what he means to him. And they kiss. They kiss and it is deeper than ever. The Kyôdo’s hands find his back - a soft fabric that is not the waiter’s shirt he expected surprising him, and indicating him the boy changed clothes. Not that it matters for he cannot see them. For before long, his fingers gently pull the cotton so they can graze his skin. And how divine a sensation it is.

“tell me what you want.” He is good with words, the politician-to-be, with expressing his feelings. But his desires - never did he do such a thing. Yet as the lover’s touch finds him, as he hears the buttons pop, as his lips tremble from the warmth of the other’s breath, maybe he could form words. “tell me if i go too fast or if i’m too impatient or too harsh or… or i dunno, anything that’s not exactly what you want. it’s our night but… it’s your birthday.” He does not really care for this new year in this instant - if not for knowing he did not lose one more not being with the right person, not telling him how much he loves him, that it still lays months, years ahead of them to enjoy each other’s presence, company. Thus he allows himself to wonder what he craves for. And as his hands push him closer, there seems to be stiffness in Daisuke’s body - but not the kind he wishes to enjoy. This makes him frown in an instant, but explanations are already on their way. “wait you… have you done this before ?” And it escapes him. This sheer laughter, tenderly echoing in the room as slowly, he brings the t-shirt up, carefully guiding him to the arms, the head and discarding in on the side. And then he brings him towards him, by his shoulders, until the mattress shifts on their combined weight. “i indeed have.” His back find the sheets again, but not before he gets rid of the clothing item that seemed to upset Daisuke. Here his hands find the lover body again as he explains: “I want to touch you, until I know you by heart.” For he cares to experience every single bit of what he can, in this familiar darkness. And thus his fingers begin drawing the torso, from the shoulders down, palms pressing against the flesh, painfully slowly - he knows, as he goes on: “I want to taste you, in every possible way.” Down he goes, hips he caresses for an instant, pants he finds. And the bump makes him stop - not out of shyness, no. But because he does remember how calm he can be thanks to him, thanks to the birthday present he has been given in advance. And how unfair this is of him, to ask his boyfriend to wait, again, to be patient when he is everything but that. So there he stays, palming him with his right hand, the left one finding the pant’s attach to set him free. “But we have all night for this.” All life. And as the jeans give in, as they loosen around him, he demands : “I want you to you make love to me, Dai.” How cheesy would that sound, would that voice of him not have dropped an octave, and his touch gone past every fabric standing between their skins. And even if it does, Hatsuharu does not care the slightest. Talking dirty is not something he would be good at - and he does not wish to be. For it would not be him, the loving man lusting for his boyfriend, in the most old-fashioned yet teenage way possible.

there is a small anxiety at the thought of being his first. not that he cared much for experience, he truly did not. but it felt like a true responsibility, and daisuke was not very easy with them — even if yes, he was raising a child. but there was truly no common point, right ? he had never done this, be someone’s first, and he did not want haru to be some kind of experiment on this matter. so he asks, and haru laughs. daisuke raises his eyebrows, surprised and curious at the reaction. he let himself be stripped of his top, follows the movement until he hovers over his boyfriend, still waiting for an answer. “i indeed have.” it’s relief that floods in him, and it’s with a new hunger that he looks at the bare chest in front of him, a hand coming to thread among haru’s hair. he wants to devour him whole. to press his skin against his and feel like they are one — and being one with him too. he wants to hear his sighs and moans and cries and everything he can draw from him. but it’s him that sighs, when the hand finds his chest. daisuke has always been more bold, and so he had touched haru a few more times than the other way around. yet, he feels that like even in several years, he will still feel fire pit in his stomach at the simplest of touch. “i want to touch you, until i know you by heart.” he knows how much this means to him, what it represents. he is willing to lay down as long as it takes for him to fully take him in, to see him as clearly as daisuke does. he wonders at how well he masters his ekisha powers. could he use them lost in passion ? “i want to taste you, in every possible way.” a moan is at the back of his throat from his touch, almost already begging for more, right now, impatient heart that wants everything at once. and then he gets it — almost. the moan escapes this time, and his head falls to rest his forehead on haru’s, closing his eyes, hips following his moves. “but we have all night for this.” it’s like the desire from before and the one from right now are merging, and he almost feels overwhelmed, from the need for more and for him and touching him and— “i want you to make love to me, dai.” “oh fuck, haru.” he pants against his lips, and shivers from the touch, from the sparks of pleasure that light up his whole body.

he knows this time there won’t be any interruption like the first time they kissed or during their heated moments in his flat, that there is no actual rush like right before, but still, still it is as if the rest of the clothes can’t get off fast enough. there is a lot of curses as he struggles with the fabric, but mostly at haru’s hands on him that makes him loses his focus quite easily, stopping way more than once to pant in his ear or bite as his neck or claim his lips. only does he slow down when naked bodies slide against each other, when he knows he has to be careful for making haru as ready as possible. and he does slide down his body for a while as he does it, clearly not tiring of something he had done only a few hours prior, only stopping when he knows it’s too much for the other to handle without coming undone. and so his lips come to find his again, as he works his fingers a bit longer. he is burning with desire when they are replaced by something else, a hand grabbing a bit too tightly at the leg he raised slightly. “love, open your eyes, please.” for he knows it makes no difference for haru, but for him it does. and as they finally become one, he drowns in what he reads in those eyes, heart beating wildly in his chest. emotions stuck at his throat, and he almost feels silly for the words that want to come out, for the cliché that it is. but then, it’s haru. haru that asked for rose petals on the bed and loves all that is all-fashioned and bullshit romantic movies. suddenly he does not feel silly at all. “i love you,” there is no stupid fear or crippling anxiety or any of that shit that had stopped him from saying the words until then. as his everything is reduced to the man under him, there is only warmth and love. “i’m so fucking in love with you.” you can count on him to curse in the middle of a love declaration — but to his defence, his attention is currently focused elsewhere than politeness. and, anyway, he has never done one before. he has always been better with dirty words than love ones. tonight, there will be both of them.